For fabulous Spiced Wine!
And her books “Dark Prince”.
Tindomion and Gil-Galad
And so heartbreaking annotation from the author:
To be close and not to touch, to speak and leave everything unsaid, to show only a calm face, built a wall of tension between the high king and his closest companion. Behind it, Tindómion burned up, lusted, whenever he saw Gil-galad. He said nothing, the king said nothing, and thus the silence became some strange edifice, invisible, solid as marble. Tindómion had expected something more after that glorious loving, but he was not the only one with pride.
Glorfindel said, impatiently, “Dost thou expect him to come to thee on his knees and beg thee? He will not. I would not.”
Tindómion shook his head. No, that was not what he wanted. He wanted Gil-galad to master him. Let them burn and be damned. But – and damn the Valars’ laws to the Void ! – he knew he must resist, so that one day, when he was judged by Mandos, he could repent, not of his love, but of his actions, not so that he might be spared, but that Gil-galad would be. Tindómion knew he had tempted the king through the years, teased him by touch and look, daring him to come closer. He deserved no forgiveness, and did not want it.
He wore fierceness those days like a starving wolf, as he and Gil-galad danced a dance of frozen fire. Watching him, his eyes drawn to the king irresistibly, he held himself between two points of love and of desire, and both pulled at him.
I love thee and want thee, but I cannot bring thee down. It would be an act more grevious than kinslaying, and so I must withhold and sue for pardon when my time comes.
Magnificat of the Damned. Book I. Starfall.